The Issue of “Split Realities”
Overall, we are talking about the issue of split realities. Sounds very sci-fi, but is more natural and present than eating or sleeping for some people.
Nowadays, we are occupied with hundreds of tasks and duties, all due to yesterday. In this everyday hustle, many forget to live in the present moment and instead try to plan everything ahead. You’re living in the future.
Besides that, it is no rarity that many of us have some unfinished business; some things in our past that keep us up at night, a fight you had with a friend yesterday, something embarrassing that happened last week. Well, now you’re already living in two worlds: the future, and the past.
It is easy to forget the present moment, but without control, you are living, at least physically, in the present.
I don’t think I need to further explain why you can’t live in three worlds at the same time, nor why it is an especially bad choice to choose the past and the future as two of them. You can’t change what has happened nor what will happen through simply thinking very dedicatedly about it. The only thing you can do is focus on the present moment; this is the only place you can work on a solution.
Recognizing the Trap of Multitasking Realities
Let’s talk about some signs you should look out for to recognize once you fall out of living in the present.
Number one, and a very obvious one at that, is mind-wandering. Thinking while driving, zoning out during conversations, or the constant need to check your phone. These are simple things; most of them happen automatically, but starting to look out for these will be crucial and important in your journey towards appreciating the present once again.
Losing focus, or difficulties regarding concentration, is another sign you’re not present. This often goes hand in hand with mind-wandering, but sometimes we find ourselves with a lack of concentration even though there is no specific thought building up in our heads. Let me give you an example:
Just yesterday, when I tried to work, I found myself unfocused and stressed. There was no clear topic or thought that kept me from working; in fact, I was not able to form any concrete thought at all. The sentence that ended every one of my efforts to move forward was: ‘I don’t know.’
In situations like these, turn away from thoughts and try to communicate in a different way. Write it down, or, what I did was, talk it out with someone I trust. Letting everything out is important to clear whatever it is that is overwhelming you.
Now, let’s get back to signs you’re not living in the present.
Anxiety and regret, two emotions with the power to trap us in a time far away from our present: What will happen? Can I do this? How should I solve this? Will I fail? How much time is left? Should I have done more? Why have I said that? Did I do the wrong thing? Do they hate me? Do they like me? Did I annoy them? Did I fail? How will I do this? Am I capable? Did I disappoint them?…
(Guess what, I could keep going.)
Being fearful of the future, the unknown, and feeling regret towards the past, mistakes we’ve made—you need to let go of them.
This is easier said than done, but constantly reminding yourself that you can’t change or control these two, and constantly putting effort into accepting what was and embracing what will be, will help you to eventually live free in the present—just don’t give up.
Societal Pressures
Another thing I want to address is modern social pressure. Modern life comes with a lot of advantageous and helpful tools and resources, but challenges aren’t left out in that rainbow-colored package. Technology, the internet, and social media lead to a need for constant connectivity. We’ve discussed that in other posts as well, such as: ‘Palmar Grasp – Grab What You Need” for example; you might want to read about it there as well. Here, we’ll only draw the connection to living in the present moment.
You might have a guess on your own, but if you don’t, let me explain:
The connectivity you chase after through checking your socials in a five-minute rhythm is a mirage.
You’re walking to the bus… while looking at your phone. You’re on the bus… while looking at your phone. You get home… and you’re lying down… and then you’re looking at your phone again.
You see, there is no problem with scrolling through your socials now and then—it can be fun—but constantly being on your phone transforms your life into a boring blank screen lacking any bit of diversity in actions and experience.
On the short way we presented, you could have acknowledged the nature around you; maybe you would have seen a new place for food or activities you could try. You could have observed other people and their sometimes weird behavior. You could have had a proper conversation at home, engaged in a hobby, cooked something, or anything else.
This world has a lot of things to experience once we let go of distractions and focus on the present. Things online can wait.
Benefits of Embracing the Present Moment
Here is a part of the endless list of benefits you’ll experience once you learn to embrace presence:
• Reduced Anxiety: Constantly worrying about the past or the future leads to anxiety — anxiety over something you have no control over. Embracing living in the present moment will help you reduce your fears and have a more positive outlook.
• Mental Clarity and Calmness: This positive outlook will eventually help you reduce feelings of stress and overwhelm. This ultimately helps you improve focus and work more efficiently.
• Improved Relationships: Being fully present with others is key to healthy relationships. Listening without distraction shows respect and builds trust; it shows you care. So remember, if the matter is not important or needs to urgently be taken care of, there is no need to give an online event more attention than the person sitting right in front of you.
• Enhanced Creativity: The negative feelings occurring as a side effect can narrow one’s vision and block creativity. This means working on presence will impact your mind, enabling you to use life’s full potential through creative ideas.
• Greater Life Satisfaction: Embracing the present moment lets you see the beauty of what you have. It is connected to cultivating a sense of appreciation. This will reduce the need for external validation.
Techniques to Cultivate Presence
Now that you know why it’s so important to embrace the present, here are some tips and techniques for you:
• Mindfulness Practices: Whether meditation, mindful eating, or body scans, practice mindfulness and embrace the present. You can read more about being mindful in some of our other post.
• Creating Micro-Moments of Presence: Be active. Set aside dedicated times to be present, close your eyes and breathe. Recognize every smell, feeling, and sound you usually don’t notice. If you know specific times you’re generally distracted, try starting in one of these.
• Attention to Detail: Start journaling to reimagine little details of your day. Pay attention and notice small things that cause positive feelings. Practice gratitude with what you’ve noticed when focusing on the present.
• Breaking the Multitasking Habit: Prioritize tasks, use productivity techniques like Pomodoro, and set device-free time.
• Limit Distractions: When working on a subject, make sure you’re only surrounded by things you need to complete your task.
Embracing the present is important, but wandering thoughts and daydreams are natural. Keep that in mind whenever you travel through your thoughts and be gentle with yourself. Get back to living in the present moment without judgment.
Remember that sometimes we have no choice but to plan ahead. Deadlines and pressure will continue to occur, and they won’t shy away from trying to take every bit of mindfulness we have. It’s not just okay but necessary to handle these situations. The important thing is to understand that there is no need to overcomplicate your circumstances.
Stick to the important aspects, create a realistic and structured plan, and leave room for adjustments along the way. Surround yourself with uplifting and encouraging people — people you trust and can talk to when you feel like you’ve lost yourself somewhere in time.