In last week’s post, we talked about optimism and its impact on our life. But there is obviously something else we need to talk about when addressing perspectives – pessimism.
Pessimism, or pessimistic individuals, have a tendency to expect the worst outcomes and therefore often avoid situations of uncertainty. These individuals focus on risks, downsides, and dangers and sometimes overly dramatize situations – they look into the negative aspects. This often leads to developing fears of failure or disappointment and ultimately missed opportunities, as these individuals have difficulties in acknowledging the potential in challenges.
Pessimism and optimism describe two counteracting extremes when talking about mindsets.
In the past, I’ve stated that neither extreme is to be preferred, and embracing solely one of them can lead to many difficulties. In last week’s post, though, I described optimism as something desirable. This is a personal preference for the most part. I do recognize that blind optimism can lead to naivety and ignorance, but I still much prefer someone optimistic over someone pessimistic.
To get back to pessimism, telling someone who has a truly pessimistic point of view to simply be more optimistic is too harsh and unrealistic of a change. At the same time, just because optimism is something I’d personally prefer, this does not mean someone else thinks the same way. In fact, someone pessimistic might even resent the overly positive picture of optimism, as it’s prone to sometimes ignoring real-life problems.
So, if optimism isn’t a choice, is it okay to simply embrace pessimism? What other choice does one have?
Even though switching to optimism might be too drastic and pessimism certainly has the ability to protect us from dangers, it is an overly negative way of thinking, which often prevents growth or forward movement – and that’s not what we’re looking for.
Luckily, there is another perspective representing a great solution in overcoming deeply rooted pessimism.
Realism
Realism represents a balanced perspective that assesses situations as they are. Realistic individuals are neither extremely positive nor very negative when thinking of a situation. They prefer to objectively evaluate given facts without relying too much on emotions and consider risks and benefits to be left with the most optimal solution.
The strength of realism lies in its ability to accept both strengths and weaknesses, opportunities and challenges of given situations, and therefore represents reality the best.
Realism is based on grounded facts, evidence, and hypotheses, which often rely on logical reasoning and a lot of prior analysis.
In contrast to optimism, realism is much more approachable for someone with a past of pessimistic thinking, as it in no way denies the possibility of negative outcomes and can therefore make use of some traits of pessimism.
So, are you ready to change your life into one of realistic situation assessment? Then let’s continue with some tips to embrace realism.
1. Focus on Facts
Whenever you’re confronted with a new situation, gather accurate information before deciding how to proceed. If you recognize yourself falling into a pessimistic thought pattern, question these negative thoughts and analyze whether there is evidence for your pessimistic beliefs. Use a journal to write down regularly occurring thought patterns that arise from pessimism. This can help you identify them faster.
You should always avoid mistaking assumptions for reality. As long as there is no evidence, both negative and positive guesses are valid, and you need to address and acknowledge both possibilities.
Also, make sure you don’t overly rely on temporary emotions such as fear. I’m not saying you should ignore them completely, as emotions represent very natural reactions to given situations, but acknowledge that they are personal and don’t always align with reality.
2. Balance Risks and Opportunities
A big strength of pessimism is its ability to identify challenges and difficulties, and there is no need to dismiss this trait. Rather, it is important to incorporate and use this strength to improve.
When acknowledging potential challenges, make sure to also think of solutions – it doesn’t have to stop with a difficulty. Start to work on overcoming them. This is your time to work on your problem-solving skills. Improving these skills will help you in every situation in life, enhance confidence, and help you to take further steps more assertively.
View calculated risks as learning and growing opportunities. Why should a small problem prevent you from trying?
3. Stay Grounded
How about we stop overthinking and use our logical reasoning to evaluate a given situation?
One negative thought leads to another, and that one leads to the next, and with that, a never-ending cycle of negativity emerges. Getting hung up on all the difficult aspects happens fast. This often leads to actually failing, which eventually reinforces that negative cycle.
That’s why it’s important to avoid overly pessimistic and sometimes even overly optimistic thinking. Stay grounded and objective when assessing your circumstances. This will allow you to confidently make reasonable choices you align with, choices that will help you make the best out of every situation.
4. Practice Self-Awareness
As we’re still talking about today’s topic in terms of self-improvement, self-awareness is an important aspect of this journey.
Reflect on biases, emotions, or even experiences—anything that could possibly cloud or mislead your judgment. At the end of the day, all of us live in and experience different realities, with every single one of them being true.
Realize that your behavior often arises from personal values, experiences, and subjective perceptions. This highlights the importance of understanding what motivates and influences you, your nature, and yourself. Incorporate that knowledge when dealing with and analyzing problems to ensure you end up choosing the most optimal solution.
5. Plan for Contingencies
Contingencies, uncertainty, and unpredictable variables fuel fears, overthinking, and stress. With pessimism, worst-case scenarios are often your first thought.
As mentioned in the last aspect, identifying negative outcomes is necessary, but it’s important not to fixate on failure and to acknowledge opportunities as well.
When confronted with a situation triggering your pessimism, prepare for different outcomes—negative and positive. Make sure you don’t focus on failure but on the various turns your situation can take. Understanding possibilities also helps you to be more active, even if you still fear negative results.
Prepare plans for contingencies to reduce stress and help you work up the courage to take on something uncertain.
6. Seek Diverse Perspectives
If you struggle with a situation or don’t know where to start, seek guidance or consult with someone close to you. Listen to their approaches and perspectives. As I’ve said, we all experience individual realities, which means many approach situations differently than you would.
You can gain new insights, reassurance, and understanding. Different perspectives can also enable you to improve your own way of thinking by recognizing specific patterns you might still need to work on.
Although varying opinions can be helpful, listening to a different opinion does not mean thoughtlessly bending over your own. Objectively acknowledge the other person’s point of view and consider the newly acquired information when evaluating your problem.
Work with others and combine viewpoints for a well-rounded understanding and the most optimal solution to every situation.
Trying to think more positively — or realistically, if you prefer — can be hard when you’re used to acting upon negative assertions. Especially at first, you might not even be able to come up with more positive perspectives in difficult situations.
I want you to know that this is okay. You are not the only one feeling that way, and the fact that you want to work on a negative mindset is brave and admirable.